a hint of grace

Season of Change

October 4th, 2018

As we move into October, we are already seeing the gradual changes of the seasons. Chillier nights, changing tree colors, and the trip to the apple orchard or the pumpkin fields all fill our minds as most of us look forward to the change. Natures way of changing can in someway be symbolic of the change in our lives. Whether it's becoming a new mother, moving out of your childhood home, watching a loved one become ill, losing a friend, getting a new job, being laid off from a job, watching your kids no longer need you anymore, transferring schools, trying to be healthier, getting a degree...whatever it may be, it is forcing us as humans to adapt to that change. Many of us ignore the change. We hide, run, pretend its not there. Recently, this idea of being in a season of change has been on my heart. In the next few months I will be moving out of my childhood home of 19 years. The home that held countless laughs, many loving animals, a marriage, a divorce, two bickering siblings that loved each other endlessly, christmas mornings, baking with my grandmother, having friday night indian food. Moving out of the home is undoubtedly the best decision for my family, however it still brings tears to our eyes to think about leaving some place that has held a lot of pain but so much love. I have also seen change in my school life. In less than a few months, I will leave the comfort of my small mountain school and transfer to a very large university with almost triple the amount of people. I have no idea what to expect, if I am going to succeed, if I will find others who I can make pancakes with at 11 PM at night.
Whatever season of change your in right now, just know it is normal to be completely and utterly petrified. It's okay to have meltdowns about it. Its okay to go sit with your mom and have her continuously tell you to just take it one day at a time. What's not okay is not following your gut. Ever since I have been at school here, something did not completely feel right. I felt content, and I felt like my life was way more worth living than just being satisfied with “content”. In every season of change, whether controllable or not, you’re able to have some sort of control over the situation. You can let it impact your personality and what you stand for, or you can let it mold you into the person you want to be. After my family got divorced, my mother for years would always say how the house never felt like hers anymore. So many amazing things happened there for her, but it was the memories that meant the most to her, not the shell that they happened in. She’s been content in this large 6 room family home with just my little brother, but it has not felt like a home in a very long time. She eventually came to the conclusion to accept this season of change, and make it happen. Everyone has more control over where they end up than they think. To figure your way out through this season of change, you have to figure out who you are becoming. Do not let others deny you from the joy of one season because they believe you should stay in another season. Trust your instincts and keep loving on yourself along the way.
I hope my perspective on seasons of change maybe touched a part of something you may be dealing with also.